Jokes Concerning Young Pioneers

Many Sovier-era jokes concern the Young Pioneers. Many American and British jokes mention the Boy Scours, often honing in on a goody-goody image generally ascribed to the Scouts. This is less true of the Pioneers. Soviet jokes mention them, poking fun of the Soviet system, not the Pioneers themselves. Among anecdotes which poke fun at communism and the communist party, one can find jokes about the absurdity of the communist system, about communists (communist party members), young communists, pioneers and "timurites" (Timur - the main character in A. Gaidar's "Timur and His Team".). Most of these anecdotes are represented with only a couple of variations each.

Here are some sample jokes.

One of Stalin's bootlaces comes untied at a parade. Zhdanov suggests requesting help from the pioneers. A pioneer ties up his bootlace. Stalin: "What's your name?" - "Misha Gorbachev."

Bush is visiting Gorbachev. There he is shown a prison camp which is disguised as a Communist young pioneer camp. Bush asks a prisoner: "How many years do you have?" [in Estonian this also means "how old are you" - translator] - "15." - "I'd give you 45." [in Estonian this also means "I'd guess you were 45 years old" - translator] - "And I'd give you a beating, if that pioneer leader wasn't up there in that watch tower."

. Juku has joined the pioneers, and since pioneers always tell the truth, he admits that he ate the jam and shitted in the jars. Grandpa to grandma: "I told you that it was [terrible], but you said there wasn't enough sugar."

Who is a pioneer? - A stupid person with a red handkerchief.

What is the difference between a pioneer and a hamburger/perogie/egg? - A pioneer is always prepared, but one must cook a hamburger first. (A pioneer is always ready - reference to the pioneer's slogan "Always ready!") (Note the motto is one of the many features borrowed from the Scout movement.)