Figure 1.-.

Anyway I'll tell you of a time when I did really want to wear my jeans and my Mum wouldn't let me which sticks in my mind. As I say I hardly ever saw Michael in the week. Our play times were Saturday afternoons (after shopping and so on for me and dancing for him) and Sunday afternoons (Mass for him and Sunday School for me - and both of us having to endure our Family Dinners - which is unfair of me because Mum spent ages cooking it and wanted us all to sit round the table properly and talk but I just wanted to go out and play and hated sitting there for what seemed hours. Michael too - and he had an even bigger family!). These times were precious and we packed a lot in and there were also the school holidays in between when either he or I were away. If I was going to Leeds and he was going over to Ireland at the same time in the holidays that was great as we had some days together. If I was away when he was in London and then he went away later that was miserable as we'd be on our own (well besides all of the other boys we played with but they weren't the same) and then school would start again!

Weekends

As I say. Michael was my best mate, but I hardly ever saw him during the week. Our play times were Saturday afternoons (after shopping and so on for me and dancing for him) and Sunday afternoons (Mass for him and Sunday School for me - and both of us having to endure our Family Dinners - which is unfair of me because Mum spent ages cooking it and wanted us all to sit round the table properly and talk but I just wanted to go out and play and hated sitting there for what seemed hours. Michael too - and he had an even bigger family!). These times were precious and we packed a lot in and there were also the school holidays in between when either he or I were away. If I was going to Leeds and he was going over to Ireland at the same time in the holidays that was great as we had some days together. If I was away when he was in London and then he went away later that was miserable as we'd be on our own (well besides all of the other boys we played with but they weren't the same) and then school would start again!

Week Days

I don't know if Michael had more homework than me or he did activities around his church or school in the week but he never came out playing in the week on school days. I always did after school. I missed Michael though.

Trip Plans

Michael was very excited one Saturday when he told me that an uncle of his was going to take him to a big football match that was going off on the Wednesday night along with his brothers and cousins. His brothers and cousins had been to such matches before - but Michael's Mum hadn't let him go as it finished past his bedtime. I think that his Uncle and Dad had got round her though or something.Michael was going on and on about it (what he'd heard from his brothers in the past) and I was pleased for him.

Invitation

But then as we were walking down by the river he came out with what he wanted to say all along. He wanted me to go too. I told him that my Mum would never allow it - but he said that he'd already asked his uncle and he wanted me to go too (I had met his uncle - who wasn't the Father of Michael's cousins but another uncle over from Ireland recently - it's quite complicated - I didn't understand it then and don't now! - but the point is that I did like him and so did Michael and, even more important he was Michael's Mum's favourite brother so he could get round her.Even at that age I could see how he charmed women with his talk (Michael had some of that too!) and he was great with us kids too. We showed him our secret hideout on the bombsite - and swore him to secrecy which he took offence at as he said he was "a man of honour" and no amount of torture would get the secret out of him and they'd have to scalp him four times over and he still wouldn't tell. You get the picture - he was great with kids and especially those our age as he could enter into our world without it seeming false or patronising like with some adults).Anyway I did really want to go then - not so much for the match (it wasn't even my team) but to be with Michael and his uncle and everything. Michael told me to ask my Mum and tell him the outcome the next day and I told him that I would. The last thing he said when we parted to go home was "don't forget to ask her!" (in fact he shouted it across the road as I rang our doorbell which tensed me up because if my Mum had have heared she would want to know what I was to ask!).

Asking Mom

Anyway once I got upstairs all of my resolve vanished.My Mum was in quite a good mood - but I didn't ask her as I just knew that she'd say "no" and then there'd be an argument. My Mum was pretty strict about bedtimes - especially on a schoolnight and there was no way that she was going to let me stay up until nearly ten o'clock! I was fretting all evening and as usual when something was bothering me Mum noticed and tried to get it out of me. I couldn't tell her and worse I didn't know what to tell Michael.

Sunday Lunch

I fretted all of the way through Sunday School the next morning and I spent ages playing around with my food over Sunday lunch - although normally I'd have been "bolting" it down as my Mum said and she'd have to tell me to eat properly or I wouldn't be allowed out. This time I didn't want to go out!. When I was still sitting there after my brothers had finished with food still on my plate Mum was convinced that I was going down with something but she sent my brothers off to do the washing up and left me to try to finish my dinner - we were supposed to eat all of our food unless we were unwell - in which case Mum gave us a dose of a horrible tasting white medicine that she had and put us to bed - so it was best not to feign any sickness with my Mum and I'm sure that she had the medicine just to put us off doing just that and not as a cure for anything!

Michael's Blarney

Anyway what I had been fearing came about - Michael called for me. I knew it was him when the bell rang. We had a secret ring (which we changed periodically so that our Mums or brothers (and sisters in his case) couldn't "crack" it) so that if either of us were not going to be allowed out for some reason at least we'd know the other had called. Michael came up and Mum tried to get me to eat up and get out in the fresh air - which she knew I loved especially with Michael. My Mum liked Michael too - she said he had "an old head on young shoulders" and he could also make her laugh and make flattering comments on her dress or hair which used to embarrass me but it pleased her even though she'd laugh. I knew that he'd picked it all up from his uncle but that sort of talk got us out of trouble loads of times and not just with my Mum but women on the market and other places too. The only one that he couldn't get round was his own Mum - but then who can?. Anyway Michael was sending me one of his secret messages with his eyes to ask me if I had asked her about the football and I was trying to work out what to do. Mum picked up on it of course and wanted to know what was going on. Finally Michael just blurted it all out - and to be honest I was quite relieved as he went on and on painting a picture of how exciting it was and how his uncle would look after me and how his Mum wouldn't let him go if there was going to be any trouble and on and on and every time my Mum tried to ask something he politely thought of something else that he had to tell her. By this time my brothers had come to listen and I must admit that it was one of his best performances. My Mum wasn't at all sure so Michael said to 'phone his Mum up - or even come round and my Mum eventually just said - "We''ll see" which ws her standard response when we wanted something and then she let me out - mainly to get rid of Michael I think - but she did make me put the remains of my dinner in the fridge for later before I got changed into my playclothes.

Michael's Mum

Michael almost dragged me straight round to his house when we got out and burst into the kitchen and started on at his Mum to persaude my Mum to let me go to the football match. He really wanted me to go - not just for him but because he really thought that it was a big event and wanted us to share it. He was going on at his Mum like he had with mine - except even more in earnest and his Mum - who had been talking with one of his aunts told him to calm down but he got all excited (and I'd seen that before) and started to tell her to 'phone my Mum NOW! at which point his Mum fired back a volley of words at him and that shut him up and then he burst into tears (which was unusual for Michael). Anyway I felt somehow guilty but luckily Michael's aunt took over and took us up to his bedroom before his Dad got involved and got the whole story out of us. She just said we'd have to see what happened and we ended up staying in after all - in his bedroom playing cards (at which Michael was expert) but he was very quiet.

Mom's OK

Anyway to cut a long story short my Mum did 'phone up Michael's Mum and finally on the Wednesday morning she told me to ! make sure to get in on time from school that evening as I was going to the match! I could hardly believe it and my brother would be jealous too. I was thinking about it all day in school. I got in early and changed into my playclothes (which we were meant to do anyway) and when Mum came home from work she got our tea on and also made me some sandwiches (which was hardly necessary) and also wanted to make me a flask of tea! Mum had an idea of football matches going back years up in Leeds when her brother and my Grandfather used to go but that was rugby! Anyway she insisted and I went along with it as I knew that I could dump the satchel - that she was emptying of my schoolbooks to put the flask and sandwiches into - at Michael's. She then of course wasn't happy with what I was wearing. For me it was a football match - but to Mum it was going out in company and although she knew that it wasn't exactly a dress up occaision she did make me change out of the worn shorts that I had pulled on (my favourite green one's - which was why they were so worn!) and into a newer pair - the brown ones which both I and my brother hated wearing which is why they were newer-looking!Anyway I didn't want to rock the boat so I went along with that too although normally I'd have kicked up a fuss - I was going to be wearing my duffle coat anyway which would cover them up. She also made me change into a clean pair of socks (which I rarely did after school!) and exchanged my school jumper for a thick woollen one.

Preparations

When I got to Michael's he was upstairs changing but his brothers and cousins were in the front room with his uncle. His Dad was out - maybe working and he wasn't interested in football anyway - except Irish football. But his Mum was there to protect me and the uncle was as friendly as ever. The thing with me was that I hardly ever bothered about other people and what they thought of me - but if I got an idea into my head I couldn't get rid of it - and it just grew and grew. The uncle asked me what I had in the satchell and I told him about the sandwiches.He made some joke about me being able to sell them to the crowd or something and that I was a sound businessman or something. He was just trying to be friendly but Michael's brothers (who I never really liked) and his cousins were staring at me and laughing at me and I suddenly felt really self-consious. They were all older - 12 was the youngest and Michael's oldest brother was nearly 15. They were all in jeans and had football scarves and badges on - and one had a leather jacket - which was another thing my Mum didn't like to see a boy wearing and one a denim jacket with all sorts of badges on. Michael's Mum said it was very sensible of me to bring food and she should have thought of that but I could tell she was just trying to make me feel better. She shouted up to Michael to hurry up as I was there - but when he came down although he was really pleased to see me and started talking about the game it made me feel worse because he too was wearing jeans and a short jacket and I suddenly felt that I really stuck out in my duffle coat and satche and with my school socks on. Like I say nothing was said - but I felt that everyone was laughing at me.

Football Ground

When we got nearer to the ground I was half listening to Michael babbling on but I was also looking at the other boys who were going to the game - most of them with their Dad's. There were other boys in duffle coats and obviously wearing shorts - even some with school socks - but no-one else had a satchel. I'd forgotten all about leaving it at Michael's in my confusion and, despite Michael being there I suddenly felt very lonely and I wished that I was at home with my Mum or that I had a Dad there with me who would tell anyone who was laughing at me to stop it. Not that anyone really was laughing at me but as I said I felt that they were - everyone. It was partly to do with the crowd getting bigger and me being afraid of getting lost too - I never had liked big crowds or a lot of noise. Anyway once we got in Michael's uncle got us down towards the front and I felt better as we were looking out over the pitch. I was more fascinated then by the greeness of the grass under the floodlights and then the colours of the team's kits when they came out. I didn't have a clue what was going on so I just cheered when Michael did and tried to whistle when he did. Michael's brothers, cousins and uncle were standing right behind us and they were making lots of noise - mainly Michael's uncle who was making all sorts of funny remarks which were making everyone around laugh. I cheered up then as I was with him and at half time he asked me and Michael what we thought of the game and I was glad because everyone would know then that I was with him. I didn't bother trying to get my satchel off of my back - I wasn't hungry anyway and by the end because their team had won I got caught up in the general atmosphere and was quite happy. I was extremely sleepy then and was in a bit of a daze and Michael must have been too as he was pretty quiet.

Home

Michael's uncle left the others at his house and walked me straight home as he had promised my Mum to do. I was exhausted and my Mum thanked him and then whisked me upstairs to give me a wash and get me into bed. She asked me how it had been and I said fine - although I was half asleep and Mum had to carry me into bed.

School

It might have ended there and then - but the next day at school some of the boys were talking about the game which they had listened to on the radio and I couldn't resist telling them that I was there. Nobody would believe me and given that I hadn't even really followed the game I couldn't even tell them anything much about it! That became a bit of a thing and I started telling them that I always went to matches and that anybody and everybody there knew me! I even started to believe it all myself!

Mum

One person who I couldn't fool was my Mum - mainly about how staying up late had not affected me and she told me that I had had my late night football matches for the time being - which was in some ways a relief to me. She also got out the sandwiches she had made the night before and I had them for my tea and then I had an early night - which I was glad of.

Saturday Match

The trouble came several weeks later.The same football team was playing again in another big match and Michael wanted to go again. This time it was on the normal time of Saturday afternoon (midweek evening games were rare then) and that left me at a loose end. I had still been trying to tell everyone at school that I was a regular attender at these matches and they were occaisionally asking me questions about them - which I bluffed my way out of. I thought that this time I would note everything and give them a full report to shut them up. I even hoped that some of them would see me there and that would prove it once and for all. Mum was happy enough with that. She had spoken with Michael's Mum since then and had tried to give her the admission money for the last time to give to Michael's uncle. She and I had forgotten all about paying to go in - and when she thought of it she wanted to pay. That's what she was like. Michael's Mum had insisted that he didn't want it - and she was only too glad that I had gone along to keep Michael company. She knew that among his older brothers and cousins Michael was a bit of an outsider so she meant that. Anyway it was decided that I was going and when we went out shopping on the Saturday morning Mum bought a bag of sweets (which was unusual because Mum rarely bought us sweets because she said that they were bad for our teeth) that I was to take to the match and share out and she also told me that she was going to give me the admission money and told me that I was to insist on paying for myself. That was o.k. by me - but the trouble started when we got home. As usual Mum had dressed us in smart casual clothes to go out shopping and usually when I got home I would change out of these into our older playclothes suitable for the bombsite or whatever.

One of the Boys

This time however I was determined to be "one of the boys" - a real football supporter and while Mum was preparing lunch I got out my jeans and put them on. I didn't have a short jacket - except for the sheepskin coat that my Grandparents had bought me the Christmas before and that was in Mum's wardrobe along with our very best clothes so I knew that I could never wear that.There was however a cardigan - which the old lady I have mentioned had knitted and although once I wouldn't have been seen dead in it I had noticed some boys wearing them (bought ones as they were becoming fashionable amonst aspiring skinheads) with jeans and decided that would do the job.The weather was warmer than it had been at the night match and I hadn't worn my duffel coat for months to school so I thought that I could get away with taking a plastic mac scrunched up in my pocket. Mum had other ideas though. Although I had slid in under the table hopefully unseen and planned to make a run for it round to Michael's after I had finished my beans on toast as soon as I got up Mum led me into the front room and told me to get out of the jeans and back into my shorts. This was a disaster!. I told her that "everybody" wore jeans to football matches (which was a mistake to begin with because Mum had two things that she hated us saying - one was "everybody does ... whatever" and the other was "it's not fair". To the first she would always say - "well you are not everybody you are William and I'm your Mother" and saying the second would mean that you had to sit at the table and write out ten things that were fair about your life and you had to sit there until you'd done it!). Anyway I avoided the second but Mum was pretty determined. She said that I was not going out wearing jeans and I pointed out that Michael would be wearing them but she said that that was up to his Mum but I was not wearing them. I got into one of my sulks then because I wanted to be like the other boys and I thought it being a Saturday she would have let me just that once. I thought that would be it and I would sit there all afternoon and then she'd feel sorry for me! But of course Michael had to turn up! Mum let him up even though normally when I was in trouble she'd send him away. He was all excited as usual and asked me what was wrong straight out. Mum told him that nothing was wrong and that I was just going to get changed and then I'd be with him. I didn't like her tone when she said that as it was going to be one of our battle of wills (which had become more frequent since I had been to Germany and been able to wear more or less what I liked). Michael just told me to get changed as we were going to be late. It was alright for him - he was wearing his jeans and Mum didn't even seem to notice. Michael was dancing about trying to work out why I didn't get on with it and Mum was holding my shorts out to me. Looking back I think that she thought that it would be very impolite of me to accept Michael's uncle's invitation and then not turn up without explaination - especially as I had pleaded with her to go last time.

Mum Wins

Mum finally went for the wooden spoon and gave me a count of ten - and I knew that she meant it and so did Michael because he pleaded with me to just get changed and then we could go. I reluctantly got changed and then Mum gave me the sweets and the money and I got out wearing the cardigan and the shorts. One or the other of which I would not have minded - as long as the cardigan was with the jeans for the football or the shorts on a normal Saturday - but not for football and not with a cardigan. It was like being half a football supporter!

The Match

Needless to say there were other boys at the match in shorts - but not that many and certainly not Michael, his brothers or his cousins. Like I said before when I got an idea into my head it stuck and once again I felt that everyone was looking at me and laughing.It was just the same when I had to wear my check shorts to go up to Leeds and Mum could never understand why I made such a fuss. I felt miserable all afternoon and even Michael's brothers and cousins noticed and his uncle tried to cheer me up at half-time by buying me a hot dog (another thing my Mum wouldn't allow as she didn't trust the hot dog sellers on the market).

Home

When I evetually got home and the sweets and the admission money were still untouched she went mad - especially as I also had tomato sauce on my shirt and I told her that it was off of someone else's hot dog yet she said that she could smell it on my breath.!

Different Attitudes

Anway - that's a rather long-winded way of showing the different attitudes to jeans between my Mum and Michael's - who were fairly similar in other matters but for my Mum jeans were just not suitable when going out with someone - even to a football match! These attitudes were changing, but the older attitudes were as you can see still strongly held by some.

Bill