Figure 1.--Even in Mr. de Rham's class there is time when teaching the younger children for some games to help keep their interest. He finds that some romps for relaxation eases the tension.

Mr. De Rham was the ramrod-stiff figure that taught dancing to the children of the cream of New York society. Little boys and girls in their best dark blue suits and party frocks were ushered into his class to learn the social graces and in the process how to dance. Squirming little boys in new Eton suits were taught to sit still. Giggly little girls in white party frocks and Mary Janes wre taught how to sit correctly. These lessons during the 1950s were departed to children with names like Astor, Baker, Chrysler, Ford, Hearst, Whitney, and many others whose parents stood at the pinicle of American industrial life. He is an intenerit dancing master, moving New Port to Palm, to teach the soms and daughters of the rich and famous.

Clothing

The children for Mr. De Rham's class are neatly scrubbed. Cowlicks are combed down. Younger boys wear Eton suits--a few even with Eton-like collars. The older boys dark blue or black suits. Short pants are common, many worn with kneesocks. Loud jackets and saddle shoes were frounded upon. (Boys at the time would not even thought about wearing their Keds.) The girls wear their best white or light-colored party frocks with the almost required Mary Jane patent leather strap shoes. And then there are the white gloves that the girls were required to wear.

Mr. De Rham

Mr. de Rham is from the old school. He is a dancing master extrondiare, noving from country club to another, holding his classes in some of the mpst prestigious social clubs in America. He sees himself as a voice crying in the wilderness for a return to the era of courtly manners. He mourns the passing of the private ballroom and the days when there were widely held standards of correct behavior. He tells of the days long past even in the 1950s when a scandalized ma�itre'd would ask a awkward dance to leave the floor. He is a curious combination of the soft-spoken Howard on The Andy Griffith Show and a gruff drill seargent. He has a sixth sence that any gifted teacher has of knowing which students can handle criticism and which need more gentle trearment.

Invitation Only

De Rham leads a very hectic life. Participation in his class is by invitation only from a select committee. From October to March he teaches at exclusice clubs. His schedule is: Connecticut (Monday), Tuesdy (Phillidelphia), Wednesday and Thursday (New York), Friday (Long Island), and Saturday (back to New York). From March to May, heshits to Palm Beach. During summer months from May to October he sets up in Southhampton, Newport, and Tuxedo Park. No mater where he teaches, he persits in his crusade for values.

The Times

De Rham sums up the as he sees it whole dismal situation. He says that the is no tougher than the times demand that he needs to be. "In the old days," he says, "you had your private rooms and your public dance halls and you didn't try to mix the two. Now you do. In the old days, children used to dance with their parents in private homes. Now they dance by themselves and they never see good dancing, let alone do it. What changed dancing was the 'name' bands playing slow. Omstead of keeping high standards, they let the public tell thm what to do. Ask my 2-year old daughter--and she doesn't tell me--there os no such thing as a 'Spciety' fox trot. In fact there is no such thing, but a 'Society' fox trot. Everything else is wrong."

The Boys

Most dancing classes have more girls than boys. The girls arevery interested in dancing, bys usually are not. Thus the schools have great difficulty in corraling enough boys. Once they have them, they often pamper them. De Rham insists on one boy for every girl in the class. Intersted girls can sometimes not attend because there are not enough boys. He makes one and obly one concession to the boys. In contrast to many dancing masters, de Rham was once a fair amateur athelete. He often relates his dancing instructions to sports and constantly reminds boys that there is nothing sissy about dancing.

The Girls

De Rham's new pupils may intuitively think that because they are sweet well behaved little girls that they will be treated more gently than the boys. But they and their mothers are soon set straight. He tells them flat out, "I don't want you girls to snatch and pull at the boys." De Rham will say, "You'll get a boy alright--we've gone to a lot of trouble to get one for you--but you might as well learn right now what some of your parents have never learned, thatvyou don't want the kind of boy you get by grabbing. But I don't wan't you hanging back and pretending you are shy either. Being shy is just being conceited. You thinl everyone is looking at you and thinking about you. Well, they're not. It's just your own silly self importance which some of your silly self-important families have given you. Girls have no more dancing ability than boys. They just like to show off their dresses more. When you get up to dance, you surrendervto the boy. I don't want to see a single girl leading a single step. If the boy's out of step, it's your job to be out of step with him. Leading is bossing and boys don't like being bossed any more than your fathers do.

Introduction

De Rham believes in clearing the air with his pupils from the very beginning. Stern lectures are delivered as much for the parents as the children. The parents regularly sit in on the classes for younger children or watch from the corridors and doorways outside the ballroom. He doesn't mince words with either the boys or girls--many of whom are used to being pampered.

"I'm not going to ask you if you want to learn t dance," he told a group of not very enthusiastic new boys. "There's been entirely too much of that lately. I am telling you that you are going to learn to dance. But the first thing that you are gping to do is sit. Unfortunately, none of you are ever spanked any more, but you may have a remote idea of where your derri�res are. Well you sit on them. You do not sprawl. You sit still and you sit straight and you sit up. And then I want you to get up an bow and ask a girl if she will have the pleasure of this dance with you. Remember, you're not telling her, you're asking her, and in spitecof what your parents may have told you, you are not god's gift to anyone, least of all her. And after the dance is over, you take her to her seat and you sit beside her. And you don't leave her until she gets another partner or gets mairred."

Approach

Long practice in basic techniques is De Rham's formula for perfection. With a shout and a carefully aimed rebuke, Mr. de Rham, keeps his students on their best behavior. "I wish you would look happier, this is not too serious," he snaps at a wistfully twirling girl in one of his classes. Mr. de Rham approaches his task like a seasoned drill master on the barracks parade ground. He seems to be every where, cajoling, encouraging, his face contorted in mock horror. He manages to discipline his class of would-be ladies and gentlemen. Teaching even the basic steps, let alone the intricacies of the ball room, to young children--especially reluctant boys, can be a temper testing exercise. His temper does not always master the moment. But through sheer will power he gradually gains a grudging acceptance from his young charges. The boys in particular appreciate his sly humor. Then as the children see themselves making progress, he gains the awed respect a capable footbal coach earns from his team--win or loose.

Mr. de Rham focuses on the constant repetition of the basic steps until his young charges can move well-ballanced and rhythmically to any dance musuic. Occasionally he might present some advanced steps to his older pupils, such as the Vienese waltz or the tango cross-step.

The classes are a constant strean of instructions. He demands, and usually gets the attention of his pupils--at leasr most of them most of the time. "I must point out that you are not paying attention," he tells one chatty little girl. Requiring copperation from the high-spirited children. Fe Rham insists on promt obedience and most of the children quickly fall into line. He can offten be heard ordering, "Quiet! No more talking! I do not want any more talking today! We must not make any noise."

At one class with older children, de Rham cautions a couple as a waltz is about to begin, "Now do not forget what I've been telling you." He taps the girl on her shoulder and warns her to listen to the music. "Girls," he says to her, "must never take a step ahead of boys. One second too soon and you are a back-seat driver."

With a younger group, he intones "Back, back, face and slide together. Oh, I have answers." Roaring that they hav forgotten their steps, de Rham tells his pupils that they can expect no prizes. Later, when he ordered a change of partners and they hesitated for a moment, he remarked, "I am not asking you to change wives."

De Rham goes on and on, seeing an endless stram of errors to correct. "Do not turn your head! A head bounding girl," he says, drives a man crazy. If she canot look over her partner's shoulder, she shold be still and pretend to look through it. "Keep arms high, elbows out, because the boy needs elbow room to keep his ballance." He crusades against the wide-spread habit girls have of leaning on their partners. "These are shoulder blades," he tells one girl. De Rham insists on correct posture. He advises one girl to stand up straight and keep her shoulders parallel to those of her partner. "Get the beat. Get the beat," clapping his hands to set youngsters stepping in time to music. "If you do not get itm you will make some good woman unhappy one day." Later he beckons a girl, "Come forward. Come forward." He has a student show how girls must lean forward and bend their knees, walking forward on outside of their feet and backward on their toes. He stops a boy. "You are doing all right, son, but you must shorten your steps." He demonstrates, "Move not just your feet, but your whole body."

Figure 2.--The younger children enjoy the games like "La Raspa". This boy wear a light colored short pants suit, with white ankle socks. The boys are usually encouraged to wear dark suits. More leeway is given the younger boys. Notice the parents allowed to observe--all mothers.

Game Interludes

Midway through a class of younger children, de Rham announces, "Let us have a little liveliness in this classroom. We are going to learn a game and have some fun." De Rham's wife is an expert dancer in her own right. Sometimes she leads classes by herself. Sometimes they do it together. Sometimes the two lead a session of La Raspa, a rollicking romp from Mexico. The younger children love it. De Rham uses it to bring some excitement after an extended period of boring, but necessary drill in the basic steps. He sets them hoping in pairs across a carpet placed between two chairs. Anyome caught on the carpet when the music stops is out and has to sit sown. The result are wild pileups and screams of joy.

Another frolic designed to inject a little fun is the "Knee Dance." De Rham tells his pupils, "Now here is a game that will make you move fast." When the music stops, the boy has to drop to one knee. The girls have to sit as quickly as possible on the boys' other knee. He tells laggards, "You are too slow. Do not kneel there in prayer."

Manners

Lessons in dress and deportment help make the children ready for the ballroom of their future. The de Rham approach is not just dancing lessons. It includes manners and how to behave properly at a dance. His voices constantly comments and commands jump back and forth, incesently and seemlessly between dance and manners.

"We've got to have discipline here." De Rham points an accusing finger at a little boy who goofed indeed. Thoughlessly he has left his partner standing forlone and alone on the big dance floor.

< Figure 3.--Another game that de Rham has the children play is the "Knee Dance". The boys here all wear conservative dark suits, both long and short pants suits.

"Shine your shoes the day of the party, not the week before. While de Rham passes approval on boys' shoes, behind his back a crisis is developing that will enrage him. Girls, he believes, should never, never cross their knees. Later when he saw another girl with knees crossed, he immediately tuned on the offender: "Do you practice yoga at all? Then sit up like a lady."

"Keep hands out of your pockets." In horror de Rham turns from a little social reprobate who stands hands in his pocketsm compounding the offense of having shown up at dancing class wearing saddle shoes.

The children are prepared for debutant parties. Children as young as 3 years are taught to come into a ball room and going through a receiving line. "Boys on the left, girls on the right; you know that." Mrs. de Rhamm often with one of the parents, forms a receiving line so that the children can practice the formal intricacies of a reception. The boys and girls approach in pairs. The girls are expected to walk a step ahead, shake hands and curtsey. The boys are shown how to bring the heels of their well-polished shoes together and bow. In difficult monents, a discretly wispered word of incouragment or advise from Mrs. de Rham helps a lot.

Ressistance

De Rham on occasion has met ressistance. In New York City, a boy's school staged a sit-down strike against him. In Connecticut an entire class of younger children began bawling before he even entered the classroom. Once a girl actually bit him. Parents pose a constant vexhation. The amazing thing about de Rham is not that he has hard goingm but that he is going at all. The factvis that he is going strong. He is a man to the manners (not mannor) born. "De Rhams are de Rhams," he is fond of saying.

The Parents

The parents, almost always mothers, have little roles in de Rham's classes. Occasionally they may help staff a mock receiving line. But basically they just sit the background and watch. Some don't like what they see. They as members of socially prominent families are used to receiving defference for them and their darling children by enployees. What makes de Rham a phenomenon is that he will have done of it. He rarely remembers even his "name" names.

Closing Speech

Stern lectures are a integral part of the de Rham approach. At a series of Christmas parties, he gave his pupils the following speech:

You will soon be going out to dance with children who have had one easy lesson at home or no lesson at all some place else. Well, you are not to copy them. Yoy are to set examples, not to copy every Tom, Dick, and Harry. And you don't go to a party unless you are asked. You don't go on the assunption that your hostess forgot to ask you, and you don't accept a third party invitation. I remember when debutante parties first had checkers at the door and people were horrified. A lot of boys who went to Groton and St. Mark's and St. Paul's thought it was smart to crash parties. Well it is not. It's not being a gentleman, and gentlemen don't do it whether gentlemen do it or not.